I have been on a number of trips since my last post Uttarkhand midyear, Sikkim Bhutan earlier, and some more.But an awful writer's block needs to break soon. Going to Leh for a week 28th to 6th Oct., share a bike kind of trip - courtesy Siddarth Tembe - www.aventuraoutdoors.com. Looking forward to biking, trekking, the cold and bon-fires, rum. I hope I can also do a small run. Using this as prep for a Kailash parikrama, hopefully soon. The gang is young (all probably half my age) and I can see a lot of this banter in the whatsapp group & I still haven't deciphered all the emoticons used. There is palpable excitement and constant warnings to keep calm from Sid - warnings are not working right now. Packing is mostly done, Camera to be checked out. I am trying to keep work from killing my enthusiasm, will tune off from that tomorrow.
Friday, September 27, 2013
Sunday, April 12, 2009
I 'll go anywhere and anytime
This is one thought that has been in my mind for last few days...... need to add anytime into my blog address. Why now..... well that is one dimension which is most important for the i'll go anywhere to happen. I sure missed that and hence going anywhere was not happenning in enough quantity or quality.
London Book Fair.... do i want to go?....... sure I do. Do I want to see UK? sure i do. Do i want to know all about what all I may enjoy there? Not really. I would let some of that surprise me. Hmmm......it costs too much not to plan and get maximum out from the trip......
I am not lazy for the planning effort..but..........
I am reminded of the Cliff Richard song...
Got no bags and baggage to slow me down
I am travelling so fast, my feet ain't touching the ground,
Travelling light............
Part of travelling light is not to be weighed down by plans........ part of travelling through life is not to be burdened by plans....he..he..he
London Book Fair.... do i want to go?....... sure I do. Do I want to see UK? sure i do. Do i want to know all about what all I may enjoy there? Not really. I would let some of that surprise me. Hmmm......it costs too much not to plan and get maximum out from the trip......
I am not lazy for the planning effort..but..........
I am reminded of the Cliff Richard song...
Got no bags and baggage to slow me down
I am travelling so fast, my feet ain't touching the ground,
Travelling light............
Part of travelling light is not to be weighed down by plans........ part of travelling through life is not to be burdened by plans....he..he..he
Friday, March 27, 2009
Twistntales & Janaki - Happy Birthday
Twistntales was born out of need to connect in a meaningful creative way.
It happened out of Harini's instinct, without a thought of failure or success. It was done with total energy, passion ...absolutely in the face. Asking Verghese to stayover to get this going (I ofcourse would have asked for opionions but never would have asked him to do). Ideate and do all in one breath. No rehersals, no tries and misses and get the first day of business happen. With Twistntales Harini's was born again. That TNT had to be about books is just incidental.
You have got over the last 7 years a strong identity, beautiful friends, a sense of belonging and being. Asking for help and support and giving it back in even greater measure.
Every now and then when the stress takes you to the end of your tether torn between your identity and family, the TNT has stood fast by you and has given you even less reason to give up.
I really cannot tell Harini apart from TNT. So if this blog seems to confuse you and make you wonder what this is about...well it is Janaki and Harini and Twistntales.
I and Nandini have enoyed this 7 years immensely and cannot think of these TNT years otherwise .... Books not being the least of them. This has given us too.... beautiful friends, a sense of belonging and being.
It happened out of Harini's instinct, without a thought of failure or success. It was done with total energy, passion ...absolutely in the face. Asking Verghese to stayover to get this going (I ofcourse would have asked for opionions but never would have asked him to do). Ideate and do all in one breath. No rehersals, no tries and misses and get the first day of business happen. With Twistntales Harini's was born again. That TNT had to be about books is just incidental.
You have got over the last 7 years a strong identity, beautiful friends, a sense of belonging and being. Asking for help and support and giving it back in even greater measure.
Every now and then when the stress takes you to the end of your tether torn between your identity and family, the TNT has stood fast by you and has given you even less reason to give up.
I really cannot tell Harini apart from TNT. So if this blog seems to confuse you and make you wonder what this is about...well it is Janaki and Harini and Twistntales.
I and Nandini have enoyed this 7 years immensely and cannot think of these TNT years otherwise .... Books not being the least of them. This has given us too.... beautiful friends, a sense of belonging and being.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Inspirations from our Heroes
I was remarking to Nandini....that her friend Nanao Singh is in the papers today, expecting her to feel curious, excited. First for calling Nanao Singh her friend, we have a pic with Nanao Singh who signed an autograph for her at the CYG. She remarked ... Nanao Singh was not her friend a little grumpily.
Why did she not get excited about such achievements?
I remember I went into the stadium for the first Grand Prix Tennis tournament in India in the 1970's and as I could not get any tickets... went into the stadium at 6.00 AM to try ant get a glimpse of the players. The security allowed me and I could shake hands.... including the big hands of Vijay Amritraj, hold his racket (he let me..without brushing me away), he has always held my awe as a sportsman, an affable human, smiling, sincere and what must have been always a great sense of humour... i swing the racket a couple of times felt great, felt that I may be overstepping and politely handed the racket back, sauntered around shook more hands. Of course I followed Vijay's tennis through his peak as well as troughs.. Always believing the great the sportsperson he stood out as. Similarly, my early inspiring interactions with the Abid Ali, Faroukh Engineer and GR Viswanath who I met briefly at a Ranji Match in Bangalore, Bishen Bedi who knocked my knees out when I tried to play him at the nets of an inter-services match where he was chief guest. Dhanraj who always has acknowledged every Namskar at the local Hockey competion at pune or at the Murugappa Gold Cup at Chennai. I continue keeping an eye out for them whatever they do. More recently with Mohinder Amarnath in Noida whom I have always admired, has kept me keen on sports and sportspersons though my life.
Harini & I try to re-create the awe of these for Nan by showing our awe for the great sportspersons, musicians, heroes, ppointing them out in crowds, on the road, in shopping malls to give her the helping hand such inspirations have provided us. Hope we succeed..
Can we create that awe for heroes amongst our children who have more access to today's heroes than we ever had? How to compensate for the an over kill by the media which makes such stars so near, that we they are now part of the furniture (the telly) and hence ignored. And very soon trashes them for their not so superhuman deeds which may have nothing to do with the field they have chosen to be heroes.
Why did she not get excited about such achievements?
I remember I went into the stadium for the first Grand Prix Tennis tournament in India in the 1970's and as I could not get any tickets... went into the stadium at 6.00 AM to try ant get a glimpse of the players. The security allowed me and I could shake hands.... including the big hands of Vijay Amritraj, hold his racket (he let me..without brushing me away), he has always held my awe as a sportsman, an affable human, smiling, sincere and what must have been always a great sense of humour... i swing the racket a couple of times felt great, felt that I may be overstepping and politely handed the racket back, sauntered around shook more hands. Of course I followed Vijay's tennis through his peak as well as troughs.. Always believing the great the sportsperson he stood out as. Similarly, my early inspiring interactions with the Abid Ali, Faroukh Engineer and GR Viswanath who I met briefly at a Ranji Match in Bangalore, Bishen Bedi who knocked my knees out when I tried to play him at the nets of an inter-services match where he was chief guest. Dhanraj who always has acknowledged every Namskar at the local Hockey competion at pune or at the Murugappa Gold Cup at Chennai. I continue keeping an eye out for them whatever they do. More recently with Mohinder Amarnath in Noida whom I have always admired, has kept me keen on sports and sportspersons though my life.
Harini & I try to re-create the awe of these for Nan by showing our awe for the great sportspersons, musicians, heroes, ppointing them out in crowds, on the road, in shopping malls to give her the helping hand such inspirations have provided us. Hope we succeed..
Can we create that awe for heroes amongst our children who have more access to today's heroes than we ever had? How to compensate for the an over kill by the media which makes such stars so near, that we they are now part of the furniture (the telly) and hence ignored. And very soon trashes them for their not so superhuman deeds which may have nothing to do with the field they have chosen to be heroes.
Kesav,Trivandrum..Thiruvananthapuram
Just there for Kesav's poonal. Started with Mohan's son...but Kesav has an identity of his own. He is a one pony show- Energy, sense of humour, all smiles and of course a most lovable child. Ribbed Mohan when Mohan was slipping on following the priests instructions. Kesav braved a fever, did all that was expected of him, enjoyed all the photo- ops, all smiles and poses a la Krishna with his Gopi's all around him.
I enjoyed all the kids around all ages, sometimes more than the time I spent with the Grown ups . I was in great humour all through.
Paddu, Premanna, Mama and Mami.....I travelled in different time zones, period in which I got to know each of them well. Rejoiced and acknowledged variously the pleasures and pains they have travelled through. Kalpana, I missed talking to as she juggled with Kesav's illness, the event and moods of many. I was in my home just different.
Thiruvananthapuram city is a beauty, as you land you approach back from the south and to you right you see one of the most beautiful beaches, the sea in green and blue hues is breath taking and fresh. The land is one massive orchard of coconut trees. The city is on the western ghats with sloping roads, very few high rises, lovely old buildings, a lot of Baker style bunglows thrown in, all roads clean. The sea breeze keeping the air so fresh and earthy. A definite drive down is on the cards, the drive down Konkan all the way down is beckoning and does not the Safari that wont fit into my parking lot.
Mams's house is in Jawahar Nagar, bunglow type houses, lovely garden some old fruit trees chickoo, Mango, coconut, some pots of anthurium. The red oxide cement floor polished a gleaming rich red. Spartan, minimalist beautiful. A house that I would love to retire into.
On another note...
I am keen observer of mankind.. Harini will say I stare too hard if some people catch my attention... she is not talking jollu or maybe she is ...anyway... there were this bunch of women all from oh so sufi Bombay who got my goat... Just as we boarded the plane... all of them travelling sponsored business class... doing an awful imitation of the accent they would have to deal with in Thiruvanathapuram airport .... with uh so falsetto sufi accents....Wanted to tell them one thing... the Malyalee of Thiruvananathapuram could best you anyday in their chosen language ..English and do manage Hindi and Malyalam with aplomb while you struggle to just get you accent so uppity...."get real maam" do not hide your ignorance under that pale faced, western attired, sophisticated bearing...Malyalees have made Kovalam even more welcoming by letting you get your tongue around to pronounce Trivandrum rather than struggle with Thiruvananthapuram.
Mohan ... thanks for the invite..
I enjoyed all the kids around all ages, sometimes more than the time I spent with the Grown ups . I was in great humour all through.
Paddu, Premanna, Mama and Mami.....I travelled in different time zones, period in which I got to know each of them well. Rejoiced and acknowledged variously the pleasures and pains they have travelled through. Kalpana, I missed talking to as she juggled with Kesav's illness, the event and moods of many. I was in my home just different.
Thiruvananthapuram city is a beauty, as you land you approach back from the south and to you right you see one of the most beautiful beaches, the sea in green and blue hues is breath taking and fresh. The land is one massive orchard of coconut trees. The city is on the western ghats with sloping roads, very few high rises, lovely old buildings, a lot of Baker style bunglows thrown in, all roads clean. The sea breeze keeping the air so fresh and earthy. A definite drive down is on the cards, the drive down Konkan all the way down is beckoning and does not the Safari that wont fit into my parking lot.
Mams's house is in Jawahar Nagar, bunglow type houses, lovely garden some old fruit trees chickoo, Mango, coconut, some pots of anthurium. The red oxide cement floor polished a gleaming rich red. Spartan, minimalist beautiful. A house that I would love to retire into.
On another note...
I am keen observer of mankind.. Harini will say I stare too hard if some people catch my attention... she is not talking jollu or maybe she is ...anyway... there were this bunch of women all from oh so sufi Bombay who got my goat... Just as we boarded the plane... all of them travelling sponsored business class... doing an awful imitation of the accent they would have to deal with in Thiruvanathapuram airport .... with uh so falsetto sufi accents....Wanted to tell them one thing... the Malyalee of Thiruvananathapuram could best you anyday in their chosen language ..English and do manage Hindi and Malyalam with aplomb while you struggle to just get you accent so uppity...."get real maam" do not hide your ignorance under that pale faced, western attired, sophisticated bearing...Malyalees have made Kovalam even more welcoming by letting you get your tongue around to pronounce Trivandrum rather than struggle with Thiruvananthapuram.
Mohan ... thanks for the invite..
Sunday, January 11, 2009
We all need to belong!!!!
This is amazing how people want to belong and hence try and attach themselves to umbellical chords of indeinite length. Such attachment give us pains and pleasures of gossip little else.
Chartered Accountants feeling shortchanged by auditors and accountants of Satyam, as if the CFO and PwC owed to the CA brethren not make a quick buck. Boss ..."a hyderbad company & telegu promoters what else do you expect". Another cheat from Hyderabad as if all Hyderabadi's were cheats, as if all these guys are born criminals.
Brahmin's crying over a brahmin thief of letting their caste frown, as if we knew him to be a man of morals and he lets us down.
Isrealis have to be admired because we have a common enemy in the Al Qaeeda. Palestinians are our brothers because Indra Gandhu got a brotherly hug from Yassar Arafat.
The point is at any level these are individual decisions to do right or wrong, and they need to be judged accordingly, not because they belong or we belong to any group. All of us have a choice to life on our own terms.
Raju's committed crime because they wanted to, the auditors became careless or compromised on their own not after checking with their group " brethren" whether they should or not. Getting our minds out of this "belong" feeling will help us judge events on their merit.
We should get out of this neo-castism!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chartered Accountants feeling shortchanged by auditors and accountants of Satyam, as if the CFO and PwC owed to the CA brethren not make a quick buck. Boss ..."a hyderbad company & telegu promoters what else do you expect". Another cheat from Hyderabad as if all Hyderabadi's were cheats, as if all these guys are born criminals.
Brahmin's crying over a brahmin thief of letting their caste frown, as if we knew him to be a man of morals and he lets us down.
Isrealis have to be admired because we have a common enemy in the Al Qaeeda. Palestinians are our brothers because Indra Gandhu got a brotherly hug from Yassar Arafat.
The point is at any level these are individual decisions to do right or wrong, and they need to be judged accordingly, not because they belong or we belong to any group. All of us have a choice to life on our own terms.
Raju's committed crime because they wanted to, the auditors became careless or compromised on their own not after checking with their group " brethren" whether they should or not. Getting our minds out of this "belong" feeling will help us judge events on their merit.
We should get out of this neo-castism!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Jazz.....(note 1)
I found that I like Jazz, why I dont know. Some of Jazz is noisy, and I can't find the rhythm or rhyme. Some is cool, traipzing, having great underlying rhythm. Does music need to have rhyme is probably the same as asking whether life needs a rhyme. The reason I agree to jazz, is that rules are there, but they are flouted. But what rules do you flout and what you dont. You note your mistakes, but it does not consume you, you pick up the thread and live on. And you still make great music. Flouting rules does not make you a bad guy, neither does keeping to rules make you a good person. So I find that Jazz is not judgemental. Jazz can be sentimental and heavy, quirky and light without the burden of making a meaning.
I find travel to be likewise, free form, routines are all new or not there, new people, newer smells sights and food (my heart is in it) never have any expectations of you to conform.
Meanwhile I have gorged myself on some Jazz... Keith Jarret, George Benson, Amy Winehouse (back to black), Gerry Mulligan. Devashis, you are welcome to it.
Why do we expect all our heroes to be perfect at everything why not accept their genious and let them live their lives the way they want to. I would like to say to Amy Winehouse.... sing the way you want to, live the way you want to, even if you had just sung two songs, I am happy that you landed on this earth.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Safe Driving : I do love you guys who read this blog more
I was to send this out yesterday, and may be our colleague may have seen it and not been part of the accident.
We are all software professionals, the operative word is professionals. As a professional, we understand the need to follow professional standards. Why a standard? A standard is meant to help us communicate by suggesting to the others that they can expect a code of behavior. We all use vehicles for commuting that are far harder, faster and make more damaging impact than what would be if we collided with each other while walking. We can cause Death, Permanent Disability, Disability, and losses to the individual, the family, property of a much higher order than we can truly fathom if we have not been close to one such incident.
Accidents usually happen to others… I know what I am doing…everyone drives badly….even if I drive on the wrong side I am careful… I was in a hurry….I had to do another 2 kms (or 50 meters) as there was a road divider, who will go all the way around…everyone was doing it… my son is only 13 but drives far better than most adults I know… I have taught him to drive so he is good…..I only followed the other guy …are just some of the refrains that you will be telling yourself at every moment that you decide to break some rules.
Some thoughts I have…
You need Self Discipline to be driving..
Will drive only if I have a license.
Will not allow any under aged child of ours or younger siblings to drive in contravention of law, i.e. without a driving license. Will keep vehicle keys out of reach of adventurous minors/unlicensed drivers.
Will follow all driving rules and ask all my friends to do the same.
Will not drink and drive and will prevent others from drinking and driving
An equally important corollary of the above is that I will not drive under sedation, when extremely tired, when I am under tremendous stress, while I am on the mobile phone… this applies to any situation when all your faculties, eyes, ears, mind, hands and feet that you use to drive a vehicle are not fully in control.
Will discourage others from breaking driving rules and etiquette or driving dangerously.
Always plan and give yourself enough time to commute, if you are getting delayed for a meeting, call, inform of your delay rather than drive dangerously to make it in time……… Miss your flight, Miss your meeting for god sakes don’t kill anyone, better late than never is the most apt phrase for the road.
One of the common dangerous situations arises when we have our kid on our lap while driving a car or have them sitting on the petrol tank of your motorcycle and allow them to control the direction of the motorbike. My Dad too did this with me but I was too young to be responsible and my father was not. I actually managed to pull the key out of the key hole and threw the key out of the window while the car was in motion. Fortunately, nothing nasty happened and the car which did not have power steering could be safely pulled over to the side…. we survived.
Some General Manthras…
1. Your vehicle should be good for the road (Road worthy). Check all these yourself:
Brakes
Hand brake
Steering,
Engine.
Gear box.
Head lights,
Turning lights,
Parking lights,
Mirrors in place,
Wipers
Tyres
Get your vehicle serviced regularly, you may be able to understand some of the above but a professional garage will do a more professional review of the road worthiness of your vehicle. Check out all important things before you leave the servicing garage, (even they can make mistakes and give your vehicle back half done).
2. Know your vehicle well. Test the various parts, position of the mirrors, gears etc. before you start.
3. Always drive on the correct side of the road, and in the correct lane. In case it is unavoidable as there can be if there is an accident on your lane, then you should have your hazard lights on. (press the button that gets your turning lights to blink on-off-on on both side of the vehicle.
4. Always be polite, even if the other party is at fault, road rage will prevent you from driving carefully once you are angry.
5. Your speed should be adjusted to the speed of the traffic, and appropriate to the distance between yourself and the vehicle ahead, the number of side roads that bring in traffic into the road.
6. Look out for traffic that may come on the wrong side, even if you are a responsible driver, there are many others who are not.
7. Always respect the traffic signals whether manned or unmanned. Do not look out for the absence of the policeman to cheat.
8. At a road signal, always wait for the Go signal to come on before you start. Wait for a couple of seconds to allow traffic that is already crossing to exit the crossing.
9. Do not stop your vehicle in the middle of the road to ask for directions, you should pull over to the side. Middle here means any part of the road that has reasonable traffic.
10. Give way to traffic coming from the right, right has right of way when two vehicles reach the same spot at the same time.
11. Give way to vehicles going up the slope while driving down a slope,
12. Do not make sudden changes to your direction, i.e. without adequate warning to other users of the road. Just because you have put out your hand or given a turning signal does not mean you can make the change to your direction without checking if the signal has been acknowledged by other party. You may still have to wait.
13. Do you know what a shoulder check is? When changing the direction of your vehicle to the right or to the left, you need to look out for vehicles that will pass you that come from either side, front and back. The shoulder check means a check that you do by turning your head so that your eyes sweep the area from your side mirror backwards covering the blind spot between the edge beyond your mirror and what you can see on your rear mirror. This is also to understand how fast the vehicle coming from behind will pass you. It is for this reason, that most side mirror carry this note “Objects in the mirror may be closer than may appear”.
14. It is always good for driver of the larger vehicle to humble, as he/she can cause the most damage. However, you should also keep in mind that the larger vehicles also react more slowly and you need to make allowance for that. How many of you have really understood why “LONG VEHILCE” is written on the back side of some trucks and taken cognizance of that and made changes to your driving decision?
15. Move off from the fast lane to allow others to go ahead, rather than letting them honk you out of the way.
16. Don’t honk… it is rude, flash a signal, look out for no Honk Zones, (as far as possible)
17. Take note of road conditions, cobbled roads, water logging, water and oil slick, sand at the edges can all cause your vehicle to behave abnormally and hence intended actions may turn out very different and dangerous results.
18. When you are coming from a unmetalled side road (kutcha) or road edge onto the main road (example : when we are getting out from our Bavdhan office on to highway), the road condition of the Kutcha road may not be reliable, or the water and slush from other vehicles may make the main road a little unreliable. We need to be very careful and not cause vehicles that are plying on the main road to make abrupt decisions. Why???? Because abrupt/Sudden decisions by these vehicles to brake, swerve and lose control, will cause other vehicles to make other abrupt/sudden changes and cause them to go out of control. Though you may go untouched by the incident, you would have still caused serious damage including death.
19. When you see a car coming out of the road side parking, do you try and speed around it, or do you slow and allow the vehicle to emerge? I see most drivers speeding up to cross the vehicle that is backing out rather than allow the other vehicle to back out. Do we have to be so rude? Why do we swerve around the vehicle, causing other traffic to similarly swerve, brake. I have seen umpteen such accidents happen in Pune on FC Road, of course the swerving motorist is not wearing a helmet.
20. Do not enter the fast lane unless vehicles have slowed down to allow you. Without confirmation of this, have the patience to wait for the traffic to slow down/pass
by. We are taught to cross the road correctly in school much of the same principles still apply.
21. Do not overtake from the wrong side specially a 4 wheeler, half the drivers do not have a side mirror and probably the other half do not look into that mirror. Just because you horn does not mean that they will drift into you. Anyway you are in error.
Some manthras while driving a two wheeler
Always wear a helmet. (I was saved by my heavy full mask ISI certified helmet as my bike skidded off the sand around a corner of a road. The strap around my chin did not break, my head with the helmet hit the road. I got up shaken but alive.)
Provide your pillion with a helmet too, you are always taking someone you care for ride,
Do not carry excess weight, or items that protrude out beyond the boundaries of your vehicle. Do not carry more than one pillion.
Do not drive side by side talking to other two wheeler driver, hogging the road and causing inconvenience to other drivers.
Please make sure that all clothing that is loose is tucked in for both the driver and the pillion. I have stopped at least a 100 motor cyclists asking them to tuck their Duppatta and Sarees so that these do not get into the wheel. My sister had a head injury just before the day of her marriage on my bike. I have felt compelled to stop and correct others ever since. Some thank me, some frown and scowl at this unwanted interference.
I take pride that I drive very very safe, (being slow is not necessarily safe) and I reduce the probability of causing an accident by my deliberate driving discipline.
I urge you all to read more about safe driving and inculcate good and safe driving habits. There are major adjustments to be made in your driving habits as you move from a learner to a licensed driver, as you upgrade from gearless bikes to geared ones, from a two wheeler to a car, from town roads to city roads, to highways and hilly terrains, from country to country. Be alert to all this.
There is much more to safe driving than this. I wrote most of this yesterday, I delayed sending this to all of you and may be lost a chance to stop one accident, and I am feeling somehow responsible for the accident to our colleague yesterday. I have a great deal of love and care for your lives, lives and welfare of your families, so this must reach you today.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Appa...
I missed you and I did think of all the things you meant to me. And yearning started from the time I got Amma's call to wish me on my birthday. I missed your voice on the phone.. But remembered your voice immediately from all the past years that you never missed and you were there with her when I heard her voice. As usual I did not have to wait the day to be wished, it was the first thing in the morning.
As far back as I can remember,
The innumerable kites that you allowed me to fly in Agra, running with all the kids chasing the kites that would have suffered ai bo kata, play gilli danda in the by lanes, playing running and catching in the construction sites, where we would take running jumps into piles of sand at the bottom.
Teaching me to ride the bike in Thane in the smelly ground behind our apartment block,... we hired the blue small cycle from the cycle shop, after Uma's turn, I sat on it and You pushed it a little and I pedaled as furiously as I could and went one round then as I neared you, you just picked me off the bike, and the bike just fell of to the side, at later times as I tried to stop, I ended up in the brambles, bruised but waiting for another turn.
The beautiful Cricket bat that you got me when we were in Hauz Khas H 7, and I promptly oiled it with linseed oil and as soon as it was ready, I lost the bat the next day. How much I hurt, but you did not get angry and let me feel the responsibility of being careless, you taught me to take responsibility for that hurt. It would have been so easy, to have just got a scolding, did my cry and move on.. But it was not your way.
The freedom to play matches all over Motibagh and elsewhere, allowing me to give the family movie outing a miss so that I could go and play outside. Teaching ,me some tennis strokes and giving your lovely Spalding- Pancho Gonzales tennis racket a going over against the Motibagh Garage.
The only hiding I remember is the one I got when I repeated some swear words that I picked up from Ram and repeated them at home not knowing what they meant.
Later on, letting me read you autograph books and diaries to inspire me to play tennis, read books. Narrating your stories from your school, college, Congo and making life that much more interesting.
Teaching us Chess, carom and Bridge, that consumed most of the hot summer vacation.
Taking on as many boarders into the house without the worry of trying to make ends meet, conflicts with study times etc. telling us by practice that being good is far more important than being rich.
In all this you also taught me to not be judgmental about people and make friends without fear of a rejection.
Later on as I was getting older, making me copy write from the news paper editorials for the summer vacation, to improve me awarness and more importantly my handwriting.
Coming to school to talk my Physics teacher Mr. Gupta and telling him why you cannot see how putting me for tuition with a teacher from whom I was not learning could help improve my Physics.
Helping me make the change from science to commerce and tolerating my shoddy college marks, not telling me to not play. Telling me that I should just make up my mind to do better. Your confidence in my abilities always were higher than my own.
Helping get past my first crash at Saket Main Market, when I rammed into the parapet wall.
Making the trip to Corbett and rekindling the love for wild life. Your legacy and love of long drives that lives deep in me.
As I finished Grad and was looking for a job, telling me that you could support me a few more years to do my CA, and that I could if I wanted not join Network as a Salesperson.
Telling me that I could smoke or drink, live the way I want to, as long as it was with my own money. Letting me onto my first Royal Enfield, while all around people were trying to tell me that the scooter would be right two wheeler.
Handling, the thug who wanted a 1000 bucks off me for damage to his Jeep.
Of course, responding to UB and E&Y interview invites while I was out of station with your imitation of my handwriting.
Sometimes when we get so much of a good thing as you, it leaves me greedy to have wanted more of all that we had good. But that is not the way life is, it is that you remember all these wonderful moments only when they stand out in relief against the life as it moves on, and more when I do not see you.
As I have grown older, I have become conscious of other things that you have told us by example... to let individuals take responsibility for themselves, to not covet what you have not earned, to be selfish enough so that I do not live life thinking that I have given up some joys and comfort for the sake of another. I should live without the pain of sacrifice, it should be the joy of having helped that should matter. And now the most important one ...to prioritise family in the larger scheme of things.
Appa, I often think about you and the way you handled your good and difficult times, the “stubbornness” all of your own in living the way you wanted to.
Thank you Appa for this wonderful life you brought me into. I owe you a big one...
As far back as I can remember,
The innumerable kites that you allowed me to fly in Agra, running with all the kids chasing the kites that would have suffered ai bo kata, play gilli danda in the by lanes, playing running and catching in the construction sites, where we would take running jumps into piles of sand at the bottom.
Teaching me to ride the bike in Thane in the smelly ground behind our apartment block,... we hired the blue small cycle from the cycle shop, after Uma's turn, I sat on it and You pushed it a little and I pedaled as furiously as I could and went one round then as I neared you, you just picked me off the bike, and the bike just fell of to the side, at later times as I tried to stop, I ended up in the brambles, bruised but waiting for another turn.
The beautiful Cricket bat that you got me when we were in Hauz Khas H 7, and I promptly oiled it with linseed oil and as soon as it was ready, I lost the bat the next day. How much I hurt, but you did not get angry and let me feel the responsibility of being careless, you taught me to take responsibility for that hurt. It would have been so easy, to have just got a scolding, did my cry and move on.. But it was not your way.
The freedom to play matches all over Motibagh and elsewhere, allowing me to give the family movie outing a miss so that I could go and play outside. Teaching ,me some tennis strokes and giving your lovely Spalding- Pancho Gonzales tennis racket a going over against the Motibagh Garage.
The only hiding I remember is the one I got when I repeated some swear words that I picked up from Ram and repeated them at home not knowing what they meant.
Later on, letting me read you autograph books and diaries to inspire me to play tennis, read books. Narrating your stories from your school, college, Congo and making life that much more interesting.
Teaching us Chess, carom and Bridge, that consumed most of the hot summer vacation.
Taking on as many boarders into the house without the worry of trying to make ends meet, conflicts with study times etc. telling us by practice that being good is far more important than being rich.
In all this you also taught me to not be judgmental about people and make friends without fear of a rejection.
Later on as I was getting older, making me copy write from the news paper editorials for the summer vacation, to improve me awarness and more importantly my handwriting.
Coming to school to talk my Physics teacher Mr. Gupta and telling him why you cannot see how putting me for tuition with a teacher from whom I was not learning could help improve my Physics.
Helping me make the change from science to commerce and tolerating my shoddy college marks, not telling me to not play. Telling me that I should just make up my mind to do better. Your confidence in my abilities always were higher than my own.
Helping get past my first crash at Saket Main Market, when I rammed into the parapet wall.
Making the trip to Corbett and rekindling the love for wild life. Your legacy and love of long drives that lives deep in me.
As I finished Grad and was looking for a job, telling me that you could support me a few more years to do my CA, and that I could if I wanted not join Network as a Salesperson.
Telling me that I could smoke or drink, live the way I want to, as long as it was with my own money. Letting me onto my first Royal Enfield, while all around people were trying to tell me that the scooter would be right two wheeler.
Handling, the thug who wanted a 1000 bucks off me for damage to his Jeep.
Of course, responding to UB and E&Y interview invites while I was out of station with your imitation of my handwriting.
Sometimes when we get so much of a good thing as you, it leaves me greedy to have wanted more of all that we had good. But that is not the way life is, it is that you remember all these wonderful moments only when they stand out in relief against the life as it moves on, and more when I do not see you.
As I have grown older, I have become conscious of other things that you have told us by example... to let individuals take responsibility for themselves, to not covet what you have not earned, to be selfish enough so that I do not live life thinking that I have given up some joys and comfort for the sake of another. I should live without the pain of sacrifice, it should be the joy of having helped that should matter. And now the most important one ...to prioritise family in the larger scheme of things.
Appa, I often think about you and the way you handled your good and difficult times, the “stubbornness” all of your own in living the way you wanted to.
Thank you Appa for this wonderful life you brought me into. I owe you a big one...
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Thursday, December 6, 2007
The Pench
The Pench Jungle is abt 100kms from Nagpur and a place that I had read about, kartik talked about and a few days break just happenned, and thanks to some planning and execution by you know who, and I have enjoyed myself. The terrain is very nice, the weather wonderful, the jungle still quite green with the ghost trees showing themselves more often. Did not drive at all. But it neverthless was a nice break, jungle trips morning and evening and ...
I stopped short due to a mood swing and haven't been able to get this back to a meaningful write or plonk..plonk..I have been grappling with some thoughts on how I am managing my relatiosnhips with people who I love...and when there are always a range of reactions for a situation...
say when Harini's describes an impossible (say difficult) situation...do I need to only hear it, do I need to react, do i neeed to help with it. there will never be clarity on what should be the response or no response, it is easiest still to deal with her as she will let me know sooner or later that I helped or that I got the wrong tack did a boo boo
Whatever my reaction, do others want to respond to my reaction, or as sometimes as she does (most times) she just thinks...forget it, he wont understand...i just got his ear to hear me, now I am done with my crib/rant or whatever..Shankar get out of my sight and let me handle this..
i usually feel suddenly left out of the solution when I seemed to be part of the problem...like i was some dumb furniture (which I guess I was then..since I have not really helped...).
fortunately...my memory is short and I go thru a number of such situations on a daily basis with family, friends, colleagues, bosses etc...all of them equally exasperated with me at different points of time..and I still can smile at everybody, whether they are smiling or not i dont know..like a blooming idiot, i blunder through this... probably the only thing that saves me is that I am bigger blooming idiot and I do not know when they want me to quit coming back to them smiling my smile...
Thanks all of you letting me carry one..
How does every one handle this kind of thing...like me...
Any way ...to each his/her own...
I stopped short due to a mood swing and haven't been able to get this back to a meaningful write or plonk..plonk..I have been grappling with some thoughts on how I am managing my relatiosnhips with people who I love...and when there are always a range of reactions for a situation...
say when Harini's describes an impossible (say difficult) situation...do I need to only hear it, do I need to react, do i neeed to help with it. there will never be clarity on what should be the response or no response, it is easiest still to deal with her as she will let me know sooner or later that I helped or that I got the wrong tack did a boo boo
Whatever my reaction, do others want to respond to my reaction, or as sometimes as she does (most times) she just thinks...forget it, he wont understand...i just got his ear to hear me, now I am done with my crib/rant or whatever..Shankar get out of my sight and let me handle this..
i usually feel suddenly left out of the solution when I seemed to be part of the problem...like i was some dumb furniture (which I guess I was then..since I have not really helped...).
fortunately...my memory is short and I go thru a number of such situations on a daily basis with family, friends, colleagues, bosses etc...all of them equally exasperated with me at different points of time..and I still can smile at everybody, whether they are smiling or not i dont know..like a blooming idiot, i blunder through this... probably the only thing that saves me is that I am bigger blooming idiot and I do not know when they want me to quit coming back to them smiling my smile...
Thanks all of you letting me carry one..
How does every one handle this kind of thing...like me...
Any way ...to each his/her own...
Sunday, December 2, 2007
my learnings..trip one of two
it is some time since I blogged... blog is a free flow for me, i try to do it when my mind is uncluttered..The first one was a short trip to the US for business meetings. very interseting notings-pointers to me as I go about my business..
1. knowledge does not bring in business or pleasure, and lack of knowledge should not stop me from being happy or successful.. I have to still work on my knowledge overhang or the brahmin ovehang...if i do not understand, if I do not know, i will fail....
I met a few people who seemed to succeed far beyond what I expected them to...and they knew that they did not have the knowledge about the business they wanted(even the vaguest idea) except that they wanted it, and also knew that the others with whom they were interacting with did know that they did not have the knowledge...so the fear did not exist... the fear of making an ass of themselves, that fear which so often is my reason for hesitation..
So my first lesson... humility is inner honesty and gives you courage to do things that you want to do, so being stupid is an advantage, only you have to see it.
Also, an Ass (I) can be happy and succeed and otherwise fail and still be happy.
2. focus on what I want..I need to do that..I was just a few miles from the Flushing Meadows and did not go to see. Things that distracted me were the usual silly stuff and I lost a nice opportunity.. I had a whole half day free as some meetings did not happen.. should have just jumped in a cab and gone there. What distracted me was that this was not even remotely important for my companion.. and i gave up for sake of that companionship. I am sure he would not have minded my going to tennis courts on my own or may have accompied me, if only I had told him that I am going to make a dash for it.
my second lesson ... selfishness brings some focus and achievement,
trying to be accomodative is plain patronising ...cut that crap
3. Opportunities are everywhere to do what I love to do..... I am holding back by not getting off my butts, for reasons as silly as the one above...should break the bunds and let myself go..
other lessons...
Indian Spicy can mean just more red chilly powder sprinkles on whatever is served, or different Indians spice differently...
Nandini, i met Amber... but did not take her autograph, I would have looked a little silly but imprtantly it mattered only for you, I should have braved it and got another smile on your face, definitely worth the lie..
Should have hired a car... would have loved the driving and missed a few appointments happily....and succeded with Flushing Meadows and a few driving tickets
Uriah Heep still sells a few copies... just one CD in three large shops and yes downloads are doing better than physical music media..
LP players look like they are back and now come with USB ports and cost $250 same as a decent ipod and more cumbersome
1. knowledge does not bring in business or pleasure, and lack of knowledge should not stop me from being happy or successful.. I have to still work on my knowledge overhang or the brahmin ovehang...if i do not understand, if I do not know, i will fail....
I met a few people who seemed to succeed far beyond what I expected them to...and they knew that they did not have the knowledge about the business they wanted(even the vaguest idea) except that they wanted it, and also knew that the others with whom they were interacting with did know that they did not have the knowledge...so the fear did not exist... the fear of making an ass of themselves, that fear which so often is my reason for hesitation..
So my first lesson... humility is inner honesty and gives you courage to do things that you want to do, so being stupid is an advantage, only you have to see it.
Also, an Ass (I) can be happy and succeed and otherwise fail and still be happy.
2. focus on what I want..I need to do that..I was just a few miles from the Flushing Meadows and did not go to see. Things that distracted me were the usual silly stuff and I lost a nice opportunity.. I had a whole half day free as some meetings did not happen.. should have just jumped in a cab and gone there. What distracted me was that this was not even remotely important for my companion.. and i gave up for sake of that companionship. I am sure he would not have minded my going to tennis courts on my own or may have accompied me, if only I had told him that I am going to make a dash for it.
my second lesson ... selfishness brings some focus and achievement,
trying to be accomodative is plain patronising ...cut that crap
3. Opportunities are everywhere to do what I love to do..... I am holding back by not getting off my butts, for reasons as silly as the one above...should break the bunds and let myself go..
other lessons...
Indian Spicy can mean just more red chilly powder sprinkles on whatever is served, or different Indians spice differently...
Nandini, i met Amber... but did not take her autograph, I would have looked a little silly but imprtantly it mattered only for you, I should have braved it and got another smile on your face, definitely worth the lie..
Should have hired a car... would have loved the driving and missed a few appointments happily....and succeded with Flushing Meadows and a few driving tickets
Uriah Heep still sells a few copies... just one CD in three large shops and yes downloads are doing better than physical music media..
LP players look like they are back and now come with USB ports and cost $250 same as a decent ipod and more cumbersome
Friday, September 28, 2007
Class and whatnot...language and prejudice...silence and the same
It is when i am traveling that i am myself and I enjoyed myself through the short trip to Baramati. Except for a brief concall that i sat through, kept away from work. Some musings....
Through school, home, work and all other living, we live with others and want to belong. This is sometimes very overt and sometimes very subtle. This belonging seems to bring about our identity. But, the need to conform means that we apply thumb rules rather than first principles, and we start messing about with our core values and sometimes we do not even notice how we drift from what we identify as core values. As i grow and see the world i need to become adult in the true sense... a free spirit, strong enough to live life by my principles, take responsibility, also convey my free spirit and mentor others along the values i believe in...now is that creating another class.. yes and no.... i should stop at letting the mentored see their own wings...
So what are my values...
Equality ...... do we need to believe in that... how often we agree with " all fingers are not alike", Classy knock, how do we absorb the concept of Equality....to me I have simplified it to mean that all people need to be treated with equal respect, I try to live this referring to everyone by using Aap, neenge or irrespective of age, hierarchy in organisation. I need to clearly establish to the next person that I do respect him. I have tried to ask myself if I am doing to prevent the other from being disrespectful to me, or is it because I feel a little less than them...
Humanity..... always feel that i can offer something good to the others... thoughts and words, things and feelings.... This keeps me connected with the reality and sometimes the humble conclusion that it may not be needed.
So am i getting into this now...
Some small instances has made me want to review my own thoughts...
It did hurt me to think that someone can be think that they are beneath me (or worse above me). And it hurt me more to see that happening around me and somehow let it be.
Also, I am jarred when I think people feel that I will necessarily be friendlier, closer because they look, talk and live like me. This may be emperically concluded, but it is not the truth.
Of course it does not mean that I will have not have preferences for people... I will always have some people with whom I share more, I feel more about. This is not necessarily because we belong to some group, but incidental to our laughs, crys, anger and other feelings expressed to each other.
Like, as english speaking poeple , we feel so superior to the others who do not speak english, we will exclude such others believing that they will not be able to add anything to our lives or us to theirs. This of course true of most groups by whatever name they are called..tambrams, bongs, mallus, management teams, I hear only classical music, see only art films.. we talk in a mumbo jumbo so that some are excluded and so silent and discriminated. Sometimes we talk to place ourselves as superior and sometimes we stay silent so that our silence makes us superior, what games, mischief..We are so wrong. I have trusted & put my life in the hands of people who could not speak any language i speak, probably live a year on less than what spend in a day. They only knew from my eyes that I needed help. I know better now. We do not need to feel or act superior to live and live well, for we are not.
How do I teach my child to be competitive (grow her skills) and yet become a person with a sense of respect for the other even if the person scores less marks than her and not suffer because another has won the race, not carry the arrogance of education (sometimes just felicity with language) but still benefit from it, and never to be beaten by another's arrogance. How do I give her simple clear lessons and mentor her with values which are mine. How do I teach her that to give is not being superior but just fortunate to be in a time and position to give? Do I need to? Or is what I am doing - being near her through her stumbles and tries helping her grow strong wings to be the free spirit, the correct way.
My dad let me be... so I will let Nandini be....
Monday, August 20, 2007
Harini and Chak dhe
Hey.... she has been into the movie and allthrough her playing days during and after the movie. Wondering why this had get into my blog... well i just got caught up with the idea that "illgoanywhere" also has to do with travelling in time and that is is what it did to her and vicariously to me... , well the movie had another effect on me...I wanted to chak the aam ka achar, chak the job, chak chack at the dead wood in my head and what not and get din chak into my life again... So I have eaten chinese, taken a day off, a got swanky wardrobe upgrade, been on the bike for the longest since i bought the bike...
Travelling in time thru Chak de...was back to my college days when I played with passion but without a sense of destination..some may call that purpose..but my purpose was abso hedonistic and I have not had a life like that since...
Well today in my life some years back and I held hands with H in the Maruti Van as I dropped her to her flight, I felt just right and felt that we had it in us to take on a life of adventure...and we talked about adventure and travel .. We came back from Egypt taking ideas with but $2 in hand as we touched down, the US trip was one big drive, gave up some big bucks to be near parents, Harini bravely got Nandini out through a minefield of Obstetrics, Twistntales with all its turns and wagging tails....
... and we have done that to an extent...but over the last few years and through some events we have fallen into a pensive, responsible, risk averse family... But as Nan is becoming stronger, H is back to being herself and I am possibly the slowest to respond...
We are back into our risky ways and I am liking it for all it is worth. So Chak dhe....here I come...fast and furious and serious fun
Travelling in time thru Chak de...was back to my college days when I played with passion but without a sense of destination..some may call that purpose..but my purpose was abso hedonistic and I have not had a life like that since...
Well today in my life some years back and I held hands with H in the Maruti Van as I dropped her to her flight, I felt just right and felt that we had it in us to take on a life of adventure...and we talked about adventure and travel .. We came back from Egypt taking ideas with but $2 in hand as we touched down, the US trip was one big drive, gave up some big bucks to be near parents, Harini bravely got Nandini out through a minefield of Obstetrics, Twistntales with all its turns and wagging tails....
... and we have done that to an extent...but over the last few years and through some events we have fallen into a pensive, responsible, risk averse family... But as Nan is becoming stronger, H is back to being herself and I am possibly the slowest to respond...
We are back into our risky ways and I am liking it for all it is worth. So Chak dhe....here I come...fast and furious and serious fun
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Epilogue from Fiji
Hi! Blog.... Do think of you much as a diary..except I am cheating and back dating this to a few days back..while in Fiji. Some of highlights of the second day of my visit (personal side) was meeting with some new entrepreneurs Naren who use to be CEO and Mahen who used to be a banker but now runs a chain of 3 eating places in Fiji. Meeting with entrepreneurs, is an enriching experience (as is when people meet H or Shyam).. Confident guys who do not need a monthly paycheck to work a lifestyle. Mahen's place Rosy's heart is a cozy restaurent and he dished a lot of fantastic food. Thanks Mahen for the food and Naren for your sense of humour.
The other impactful event was the prayer said at dinner time, very solemn, with confidence in their faith ,and simple and direct. I have learnt how to pray a little better. Thanks Alipate for this, and for the nice drive back to the hotel..I cannot call you Mr. in my blog. So you have bear with this.
The other impactful event was the prayer said at dinner time, very solemn, with confidence in their faith ,and simple and direct. I have learnt how to pray a little better. Thanks Alipate for this, and for the nice drive back to the hotel..I cannot call you Mr. in my blog. So you have bear with this.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Traveler in Fiji
I have landed in Fiji by some quirk of fate....absolutely mixed up case...but Since me the traveller has started blogging, I have also travelled a bit and am enjoying everybit of it. Paulo Coelho and Alchemist comes to mind. But as I have just got started on "fooled by randomness" , I will just enjoy my peace that comes with flowing with the tide..and this time across the world, and now am very near the international date line. Fascinated that I could get a whole day behind by just stepping across a line and come back to today by stepping back. so much for the time machine...
These are wonderful islands and pleasent people, I have received so many unasked for smiles and pleasentness and I have smiled back in great measure as well. We had a welcome song for us at the airport at Nadi from where we flew in a 12 seater to Suva the Capital city. the 20+ minute ride was right accross the island which is hilly and green most of the way. English is spoken by all and Hindi by the lot of Fijians of Indian Origin..
We walked the market and looked into some shops... and the market closes at 5 to give time to all to live their lives too...A surprise for H, if it makes its way safely back. I will look for some surprises for N and may be some others...aah but tommorrow is a different start to the day....so will take it as it comes.
The Holiday Inn in Suva where I am staying, is beautiful and is located on the shore line.. A little walk and we are down to the pier and the Ships on the water are equally facinating...May be we can do a trip down here again..a restful place. Hope to get back soon to the hotel as they have live Jazz program this evening.
These are wonderful islands and pleasent people, I have received so many unasked for smiles and pleasentness and I have smiled back in great measure as well. We had a welcome song for us at the airport at Nadi from where we flew in a 12 seater to Suva the Capital city. the 20+ minute ride was right accross the island which is hilly and green most of the way. English is spoken by all and Hindi by the lot of Fijians of Indian Origin..
We walked the market and looked into some shops... and the market closes at 5 to give time to all to live their lives too...A surprise for H, if it makes its way safely back. I will look for some surprises for N and may be some others...aah but tommorrow is a different start to the day....so will take it as it comes.
The Holiday Inn in Suva where I am staying, is beautiful and is located on the shore line.. A little walk and we are down to the pier and the Ships on the water are equally facinating...May be we can do a trip down here again..a restful place. Hope to get back soon to the hotel as they have live Jazz program this evening.
Sunday, June 3, 2007
May 2007
I have travelled a bit May 2007 mostly through Himachal, driving a ford fiesta ( not that the car is name is important, but may be useful to some) for 14 days starting 13th from Pune and end 26th in Pune, flew down to Delhi and then drove around to and from Himachal. This was litterally a break, phone calls a few the fag end of the trip, clocked 1800 km of which 1200+ in the hills, got as far high as 13000 ft + in the car and then some more walking..Thank you Harin for all the prodding and planning...
The driving was strenuous and exciting, but with the fantastic company of Harini, Nandini and ofcourse Vernen. I would like to think they enjoyed the driving as much as I did. All of them braved the ride to allow me to freakout driving. Weather was good mostly and roads were passable in the hills, except around the Jayprakash hydel project area. The car held up magnificently without even a puncture and the crew did even better without a whimper of complaint. Nandini is growing up to be quite a sport (she threw snow at some kids abt her age, and refused to understand why they would not laugh at her and throw some back at her), managing well even though without any small people (size 8 yrs or so in the crew).
The itenary Delhi 14th morn - Thanedar 14th eve, Thanedar - Shoja 14th, Shoja - Sangla 15th, Sangla 15th-19th, Manali 19th -23rd, Shoghi 23-24, Shoghi-Delhi 25th..
There were highpoints every day..the drive, walking with H & N, Thanedar where I drank quite a few glasses of apple wine, (not cedar), Sangla where we learnt to ski without equipment, on our seats and on our (shoed)feet, snow capped mountains, morning sunlight turning the rocky peaks golden, the snow drifting down the high and water tricking from under them, walks through the village, the huge Deodhar trees, putting our feet into the icy cold streams, little birds and the Himalayan vulture that seemed stood 4' + and i believe has wingspan of 8' + (near Rohtang) , Para riding down the hill and collecting a video recording - a certficate of adventure to show everyone, (as H says a demonstration that I am a 18 year old in a 45 year body (she actually said17, but then I would lose my licence to drive), no phone calls, no serious sicknesses, some anxiety about reaching before darkness, running out of fuel, watching Vernen checking out his vertigo and improving the inches on his left biceps, shopping at Manali, Simla- pickles, wine, woolens, shirts, a multipurpose tool. It is on a holiday like this that I want to be busy to not waste the precious vision of the Himalayas ( by being lazy, staying in bed) and trying to laze to recoup from a tough year of work, want to do a lot of stuff with H & N and also want sit up in a warm and cozy place under the quilt, cuddling, talking inane stuff and laughing for nothing, fighting with yourself to pick between warming up to a fire in the open hearth and talking to new acquaintances who travel through their experiences or to spend the time with H & N in warmth of heart - that we have planned for a whole year back. So we did all this stuff we could and felt I want some more of the holiday, if only I did not need to get back...I guess I was on high, delusions of fun cause by the effect of high altitude on the brain...I have promised to come back for more, tougher longer trips in this unbelievably beautiful country.
Often we think...what would be like to travel, live on the road and teach N geography, history and science traveling across the country north, south, east, west. Will she not be better educated then, will we be doing her (own life and career) harm, with a bohemian vision of life...risk averse that we are we will do all this by summer and winter school vacation...
The low point was not being able to play with N in abundant snow at Rohtang as N was not well that day.
Another drift of thoughts...of the thoughts that comes to me as it must do to others...we all want relief from things that we do daily, for some it is the office/work stress, school, study...then I think of the relief map and then say aaaaaaaaaah! the relief map allows you to see the contours of the land and hence help you understand the land better, you get perspective of the ups and downs.....travel does that to me...helps me understand the land, the times, people and my own responses to all these much better.
As I travelled, often excerpts from the "Zen and the art of ...." would come to me ...i have started to like the book again.
The driving was strenuous and exciting, but with the fantastic company of Harini, Nandini and ofcourse Vernen. I would like to think they enjoyed the driving as much as I did. All of them braved the ride to allow me to freakout driving. Weather was good mostly and roads were passable in the hills, except around the Jayprakash hydel project area. The car held up magnificently without even a puncture and the crew did even better without a whimper of complaint. Nandini is growing up to be quite a sport (she threw snow at some kids abt her age, and refused to understand why they would not laugh at her and throw some back at her), managing well even though without any small people (size 8 yrs or so in the crew).
The itenary Delhi 14th morn - Thanedar 14th eve, Thanedar - Shoja 14th, Shoja - Sangla 15th, Sangla 15th-19th, Manali 19th -23rd, Shoghi 23-24, Shoghi-Delhi 25th..
There were highpoints every day..the drive, walking with H & N, Thanedar where I drank quite a few glasses of apple wine, (not cedar), Sangla where we learnt to ski without equipment, on our seats and on our (shoed)feet, snow capped mountains, morning sunlight turning the rocky peaks golden, the snow drifting down the high and water tricking from under them, walks through the village, the huge Deodhar trees, putting our feet into the icy cold streams, little birds and the Himalayan vulture that seemed stood 4' + and i believe has wingspan of 8' + (near Rohtang) , Para riding down the hill and collecting a video recording - a certficate of adventure to show everyone, (as H says a demonstration that I am a 18 year old in a 45 year body (she actually said17, but then I would lose my licence to drive), no phone calls, no serious sicknesses, some anxiety about reaching before darkness, running out of fuel, watching Vernen checking out his vertigo and improving the inches on his left biceps, shopping at Manali, Simla- pickles, wine, woolens, shirts, a multipurpose tool. It is on a holiday like this that I want to be busy to not waste the precious vision of the Himalayas ( by being lazy, staying in bed) and trying to laze to recoup from a tough year of work, want to do a lot of stuff with H & N and also want sit up in a warm and cozy place under the quilt, cuddling, talking inane stuff and laughing for nothing, fighting with yourself to pick between warming up to a fire in the open hearth and talking to new acquaintances who travel through their experiences or to spend the time with H & N in warmth of heart - that we have planned for a whole year back. So we did all this stuff we could and felt I want some more of the holiday, if only I did not need to get back...I guess I was on high, delusions of fun cause by the effect of high altitude on the brain...I have promised to come back for more, tougher longer trips in this unbelievably beautiful country.
Often we think...what would be like to travel, live on the road and teach N geography, history and science traveling across the country north, south, east, west. Will she not be better educated then, will we be doing her (own life and career) harm, with a bohemian vision of life...risk averse that we are we will do all this by summer and winter school vacation...
The low point was not being able to play with N in abundant snow at Rohtang as N was not well that day.
Another drift of thoughts...of the thoughts that comes to me as it must do to others...we all want relief from things that we do daily, for some it is the office/work stress, school, study...then I think of the relief map and then say aaaaaaaaaah! the relief map allows you to see the contours of the land and hence help you understand the land better, you get perspective of the ups and downs.....travel does that to me...helps me understand the land, the times, people and my own responses to all these much better.
As I travelled, often excerpts from the "Zen and the art of ...." would come to me ...i have started to like the book again.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Nurturing, Duty,reciprocation, responsibility and whatnot
Nurturing....some do a wonderful job of it... they take time out for people they care for and I love them for that. But I am different.......I give 100% to whoever is in front of me and try and get accross a honesty of purpose, empathy and a oneness is the thoughts that we share..not necessarily thinking alike but thinking for the same purpose..I am there for them for the moment, for the hour, for the day or for every moment I spend with them, that too is nurturing. Of course, more is achieved by doing this in a planned manner.... both people make the time for sharing and and hence do not miss out in the humdrum of activity that surround us...For me life is the spontaniety...i do not want reflect in the past...I do not want to peek into the future......I am travellor without a destination....either in people or places.. and i have been lucky that most have accepted me... will I change ...god knows...
Is nurturing done with an anticpation of reciprocation..should that return of nurturing drive your need to nurture or is that a usual fallout of having nurtured goodly.. I know that as children parents do the nurturing not with the thought that it will be returned in good measure and these days sometimes it does not....for instance I do not return a hundredth of what I have received... and I often nurture the realtionship with people who posiblly do not feel like nurturing back...but what the heck I cannot stop myself... i love who i love, and do not some others...i am liked by people I dislike and it possibly goes the otherway around too...I think we should let our instincts work for us and not try and not try and control ourselves, our emotions and manage those of others...
The word duty is made to sound like a burden, that one needs to bear....it is thoroughly the other way, is duty something that someone decides for you or is it something that you feel that that you have to do because you want to do..except that it may not be fun while doing it or sometimes there are no rewards...thank yous...etc..except for a feeling inside you that you did your best...why should doing your best be so painful... it may difficult, tough but surely it gives you a purpose... the purpose is to achieve happinness, improve wellbeing or alleviating yours or someone elses sorrow, pain etc...
What is responsibility....it is what we through my actions, behaviour and language convey to ourselves and others that they can count on me/us or they cannot...while in the latter case it ceases to matter, when the "I" conveys that "I" can be counted upon by me or others and then what we do is we commit a breach of that promise... I guess we are being irrresponsible...
We are what we are i.e. our identity is a summation of our activities such as nurturing, our attitude to our duty and responsibility as seen by ourselves first and similarly by others... so every minute of our lives I am determining who that I is...
Is being responsible a cross that we carry? Should we fear it...No enjoy it...it is what make I me ....
But with all this, I mess up from time to time...sometimes the situation messes the I up...some times someone else messes me up... as a traveller, I laugh, cry, I correct, say a sorry, a thank you and pick myself up and travel from and to everwhere...
Some ruminations on what is important to me...Harin (Big J) thanks for picking this line today as you looked over my shoulder....
hey..putting things down on paper...(blog) does bring a lot of clarity...
thanks T, J, and Big J..for bringing this blog thingy myway...
Is nurturing done with an anticpation of reciprocation..should that return of nurturing drive your need to nurture or is that a usual fallout of having nurtured goodly.. I know that as children parents do the nurturing not with the thought that it will be returned in good measure and these days sometimes it does not....for instance I do not return a hundredth of what I have received... and I often nurture the realtionship with people who posiblly do not feel like nurturing back...but what the heck I cannot stop myself... i love who i love, and do not some others...i am liked by people I dislike and it possibly goes the otherway around too...I think we should let our instincts work for us and not try and not try and control ourselves, our emotions and manage those of others...
The word duty is made to sound like a burden, that one needs to bear....it is thoroughly the other way, is duty something that someone decides for you or is it something that you feel that that you have to do because you want to do..except that it may not be fun while doing it or sometimes there are no rewards...thank yous...etc..except for a feeling inside you that you did your best...why should doing your best be so painful... it may difficult, tough but surely it gives you a purpose... the purpose is to achieve happinness, improve wellbeing or alleviating yours or someone elses sorrow, pain etc...
What is responsibility....it is what we through my actions, behaviour and language convey to ourselves and others that they can count on me/us or they cannot...while in the latter case it ceases to matter, when the "I" conveys that "I" can be counted upon by me or others and then what we do is we commit a breach of that promise... I guess we are being irrresponsible...
We are what we are i.e. our identity is a summation of our activities such as nurturing, our attitude to our duty and responsibility as seen by ourselves first and similarly by others... so every minute of our lives I am determining who that I is...
Is being responsible a cross that we carry? Should we fear it...No enjoy it...it is what make I me ....
But with all this, I mess up from time to time...sometimes the situation messes the I up...some times someone else messes me up... as a traveller, I laugh, cry, I correct, say a sorry, a thank you and pick myself up and travel from and to everwhere...
Some ruminations on what is important to me...Harin (Big J) thanks for picking this line today as you looked over my shoulder....
hey..putting things down on paper...(blog) does bring a lot of clarity...
thanks T, J, and Big J..for bringing this blog thingy myway...
Sunday, April 8, 2007
myownpage..ha.ha...
I am Shankar, shanks, appa... (i am doing an intro for myself) don't know if that is how we get started -blogging...is an identity important or only my blog.....is my skill with words that will interest people or is it me...do I want people to be interested in me...have not figured this out...So will start this blog as that is the "in thing"...also when every one is opening up to the world with this... i should too...or Nandan and Harin will find me dated.....now to get back to the intro..used to be very happy go lucky...hope to get there again..soon very soon...I am blogging thanks to some inspiration from harini, whom most will know as janaki...a typical gemini I am, can change course every minute to everyones smile or consternation or whatever....i like myself that way..i smile better than I frown..i guess most of us do.....the laff is the best face I have got for sure... love Nandan..and harin...and just about everyone afterthat...need to get a little fitter...now a little about the blog identity which has " I'll go anywhere...."..I am happy treveller in all senses flitting flirting walking moving so I should be me...I was trying to fill in the form on this blog and that is all that came off my fingers....
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