It is when i am traveling that i am myself and I enjoyed myself through the short trip to Baramati. Except for a brief concall that i sat through, kept away from work. Some musings....
Through school, home, work and all other living, we live with others and want to belong. This is sometimes very overt and sometimes very subtle. This belonging seems to bring about our identity. But, the need to conform means that we apply thumb rules rather than first principles, and we start messing about with our core values and sometimes we do not even notice how we drift from what we identify as core values. As i grow and see the world i need to become adult in the true sense... a free spirit, strong enough to live life by my principles, take responsibility, also convey my free spirit and mentor others along the values i believe in...now is that creating another class.. yes and no.... i should stop at letting the mentored see their own wings...
So what are my values...
Equality ...... do we need to believe in that... how often we agree with " all fingers are not alike", Classy knock, how do we absorb the concept of Equality....to me I have simplified it to mean that all people need to be treated with equal respect, I try to live this referring to everyone by using Aap, neenge or irrespective of age, hierarchy in organisation. I need to clearly establish to the next person that I do respect him. I have tried to ask myself if I am doing to prevent the other from being disrespectful to me, or is it because I feel a little less than them...
Humanity..... always feel that i can offer something good to the others... thoughts and words, things and feelings.... This keeps me connected with the reality and sometimes the humble conclusion that it may not be needed.
So am i getting into this now...
Some small instances has made me want to review my own thoughts...
It did hurt me to think that someone can be think that they are beneath me (or worse above me). And it hurt me more to see that happening around me and somehow let it be.
Also, I am jarred when I think people feel that I will necessarily be friendlier, closer because they look, talk and live like me. This may be emperically concluded, but it is not the truth.
Of course it does not mean that I will have not have preferences for people... I will always have some people with whom I share more, I feel more about. This is not necessarily because we belong to some group, but incidental to our laughs, crys, anger and other feelings expressed to each other.
Like, as english speaking poeple , we feel so superior to the others who do not speak english, we will exclude such others believing that they will not be able to add anything to our lives or us to theirs. This of course true of most groups by whatever name they are called..tambrams, bongs, mallus, management teams, I hear only classical music, see only art films.. we talk in a mumbo jumbo so that some are excluded and so silent and discriminated. Sometimes we talk to place ourselves as superior and sometimes we stay silent so that our silence makes us superior, what games, mischief..We are so wrong. I have trusted & put my life in the hands of people who could not speak any language i speak, probably live a year on less than what spend in a day. They only knew from my eyes that I needed help. I know better now. We do not need to feel or act superior to live and live well, for we are not.
How do I teach my child to be competitive (grow her skills) and yet become a person with a sense of respect for the other even if the person scores less marks than her and not suffer because another has won the race, not carry the arrogance of education (sometimes just felicity with language) but still benefit from it, and never to be beaten by another's arrogance. How do I give her simple clear lessons and mentor her with values which are mine. How do I teach her that to give is not being superior but just fortunate to be in a time and position to give? Do I need to? Or is what I am doing - being near her through her stumbles and tries helping her grow strong wings to be the free spirit, the correct way.
My dad let me be... so I will let Nandini be....
