The Pench

The Pench Jungle is abt 100kms from Nagpur and a place that I had read about, kartik talked about and a few days break just happenned, and thanks to some planning and execution by you know who, and I have enjoyed myself. The terrain is very nice, the weather wonderful, the jungle still quite green with the ghost trees showing themselves more often. Did not drive at all. But it neverthless was a nice break, jungle trips morning and evening and ...

I stopped short due to a mood swing and haven't been able to get this back to a meaningful write or plonk..plonk..I have been grappling with some thoughts on how I am managing my relatiosnhips with people who I love...and when there are always a range of reactions for a situation...
say when Harini's describes an impossible (say difficult) situation...do I need to only hear it, do I need to react, do i neeed to help with it. there will never be clarity on what should be the response or no response, it is easiest still to deal with her as she will let me know sooner or later that I helped or that I got the wrong tack did a boo boo

Whatever my reaction, do others want to respond to my reaction, or as sometimes as she does (most times) she just thinks...forget it, he wont understand...i just got his ear to hear me, now I am done with my crib/rant or whatever..Shankar get out of my sight and let me handle this..

i usually feel suddenly left out of the solution when I seemed to be part of the problem...like i was some dumb furniture (which I guess I was then..since I have not really helped...).

fortunately...my memory is short and I go thru a number of such situations on a daily basis with family, friends, colleagues, bosses etc...all of them equally exasperated with me at different points of time..and I still can smile at everybody, whether they are smiling or not i dont know..like a blooming idiot, i blunder through this... probably the only thing that saves me is that I am bigger blooming idiot and I do not know when they want me to quit coming back to them smiling my smile...

Thanks all of you letting me carry one..

How does every one handle this kind of thing...like me...

Any way ...to each his/her own...

my learnings..trip one of two

it is some time since I blogged... blog is a free flow for me, i try to do it when my mind is uncluttered..The first one was a short trip to the US for business meetings. very interseting notings-pointers to me as I go about my business..

1. knowledge does not bring in business or pleasure, and lack of knowledge should not stop me from being happy or successful.. I have to still work on my knowledge overhang or the brahmin ovehang...if i do not understand, if I do not know, i will fail....

I met a few people who seemed to succeed far beyond what I expected them to...and they knew that they did not have the knowledge about the business they wanted(even the vaguest idea) except that they wanted it, and also knew that the others with whom they were interacting with did know that they did not have the knowledge...so the fear did not exist... the fear of making an ass of themselves, that fear which so often is my reason for hesitation..

So my first lesson... humility is inner honesty and gives you courage to do things that you want to do, so being stupid is an advantage, only you have to see it.

Also, an Ass (I) can be happy and succeed and otherwise fail and still be happy.

2. focus on what I want..I need to do that..I was just a few miles from the Flushing Meadows and did not go to see. Things that distracted me were the usual silly stuff and I lost a nice opportunity.. I had a whole half day free as some meetings did not happen.. should have just jumped in a cab and gone there. What distracted me was that this was not even remotely important for my companion.. and i gave up for sake of that companionship. I am sure he would not have minded my going to tennis courts on my own or may have accompied me, if only I had told him that I am going to make a dash for it.

my second lesson ... selfishness brings some focus and achievement,
trying to be accomodative is plain patronising ...cut that crap

3. Opportunities are everywhere to do what I love to do..... I am holding back by not getting off my butts, for reasons as silly as the one above...should break the bunds and let myself go..

other lessons...

Indian Spicy can mean just more red chilly powder sprinkles on whatever is served, or different Indians spice differently...

Nandini, i met Amber... but did not take her autograph, I would have looked a little silly but imprtantly it mattered only for you, I should have braved it and got another smile on your face, definitely worth the lie..

Should have hired a car... would have loved the driving and missed a few appointments happily....and succeded with Flushing Meadows and a few driving tickets

Uriah Heep still sells a few copies... just one CD in three large shops and yes downloads are doing better than physical music media..

LP players look like they are back and now come with USB ports and cost $250 same as a decent ipod and more cumbersome